In 2024 I showed “Untethered’ at aceartinc. in Winnipeg, with The Winnipeg Pantsuit Collective in a group show called ‘States of Self”
Untethered was an installation exploring memory, belonging, and loss as it pertains to adoption trauma. The exhibition used multi-channel video and immersive installation to weave together my experience as an adoptee, and opened a place for viewers to contemplate the embodied effects of this feeling of rootlessness.
My goal with this project was to discover new ways of creating work by experimenting with multi-channel video installation using vintage televisions, collaborating on a knitted landscape installation with a group of knitters, as well as using natural dye techniques with raw wool.
This work moved away from subject, placing more attention on the setting and landscape. As an adoptee I have no knowledge of my heritage, culture, or place. In a 1982 study, Silverstein and Kaplan identified seven issues in adoption: loss, rejection, guilt/shame, grief, loss of identity, intimacy, and control. As in my case, adoption trauma can take place even when the infant is adopted within weeks of birth. In utero, the fetus becomes accustomed to the sound of the mother’s voice therefore, trauma can occur when that familiar voice is no longer present after birth. Being adopted in the 1960’s, I was denied access to birth records, and information about my heritage. ‘Untethered’ means to not be tied to, limited by, or confined. In this work I began to insinuate myself into landscapes that I felt a strong connection to. Without being limited or confined by where I am from biologically, I have the freedom to choose my own place, and have empowered myself in a situation that has historically come with very little power or agency.
Hanging from the installation were knitted pouches; prior to the exhibition these pouches were knitted and handed out to people willing to participate in the project. I asked that they fill it with natural objects from a location that is meaningful to them, to label the pouch however they see fit, and return it to me. Naturally dyed raw wool created layers between the knitted sheets and was also placed on the ground beneath the installation along with natural collections of mine, and items donated by others. The act of knitting in this piece represented safety, community, and a common goal. The community aspect of this piece was uplifting, and held feelings of care, and hope, the ability to mend, to hold, to contain, to cocoon, nurture, and to keep warm. Next to the knitted installation was a multi-channel video installation set in a re-creation of my 1980s living room. The video screens showed loops of video from places in Manitoba and Ontario, the province of my birth and my home, and the province in which I was conceived. Looping from screen to screen was an abstract murky underwater video with suggestions of swimming bodies, fire, and rocks under the surface of water distorted by unnatural light and movement. The video was meant to evoke feelings of fleeting pieces of memory, or dreams, which are gone before you can really latch on to what you are seeing. The soundtrack for the entire piece was created with audio from the weekly knitting group, along with sounds of water, wind, and fire.